As promised, The Wizard of Paws

The Wizard of Oz

 

The Sequel

 

Chapter one

 

THE TRUTH

 

When everybody found out their idol was a failure, a lie, and now a runaway never to be seen again, they all had random responses.

The Winkies and Munchkins gasped in surprise and then continued on with their lives.

Dorothy, Toto, the Scarecrow, the Lion, and the Tinman didn't care 'cos they already knew.

The gatekeepers and whatnot would have fired themselves, but since the Scarecrow now lived in the Emerald Palace, they had to stick around.

The Hammer-Heads and Kalidahs started a small war with each other's species, but it was stopped and banned shortly afterwards (twenty minutes)  due to the Scarecrow decreeing that there was to be eternal peace and that was that.

The Witch of the North now had a problem: The next time a little girl with a lapdog landed on top of someone in her house, she'd have to come up with some other advice.

Glinda hardly cared.

The Flying Monkeys and their King flew and flew until they found a way to bypass the desert, and ended up in an odd place by the name of Central Park.

Chapter Two

 

DOROTHY

 

...Was currently trying to explain where she was to her Auntie Em and Uncle Henry. "I swear, I was in this place called Oz and then I met a scarecrow with a soul and a tinman who could talk and a talking lion and we got carried off by flying monkeys and we got attacked by these lion-bears and then we went into this city made out of emeralds and then I killed a witch with water and then we sent the place's leader away in a hot-air balloon" wasn't really convincing Dorothy's aunt and uncle, who honestly thought Dorothy had injured her brain in the cyclone and so they considered sending her away to an insane asylum. After reccomending that Dorothy camp outside in the backyard tonight, to avoid spreading the insanity, Auntie Em and Uncle Henry debated how to contact the insane asylum while they didn't even have a telephone. Then Auntie Em remembered that phones weren't invented yet, and they blamed the insanity of Dorothy. Now, what Auntie Em and Uncle Henry did not know is that their decision to put Dorothy in the backyard for the night was a fairly dimwitted one, since they chose not to help Dorothy, who had no idea how to camp whatsoever and ended up putting her tent in a riverbed. That night it stormed.

 

That morning Dorothy awoke to find herself surrounded by several Scottish terriers looking very much like Toto, and she found that under her tent, there were the paws of some animal Dorothy didn't know. "Oh, great, now I have to go find the mutt!" Dorothy grumbled to herself when she realized Toto wasn't there. "You are welcome," barked a little purple terrier with a yellow nose, "to the Land of Paws."

Dorothy shouted something rather colorful that the terriers didn't regonize, to which they replied, "are you displeased, young trainer?" "Trainer? What is this, the Land of the Pokemon?" Dorothy muttered to herself, standing up. "Displeased? Oh, no. It's just that I lost my dog and I'm surrounded by Scottish Terriers, and I just returned from the Land of Oz yesterday!" She said to the dogs. The purple dog with the yellow nose ignored her rant and introduced itself as Queenie, and Dorothy had introduced herself when she spotted Toto, running amok in the little doggy town. "Excuse me!" she said to Queenie, and then she chased after Toto. Doing this required her to weave in between doghouses, upsetting family dinners and games of tag to which the terriers barked, "Hey! Yous should watches where yous going!" Dorothy managed to catch up to Toto. Who wasn't really Toto. "Lovely!" Dorothy grumbled, sitting on a rock. She could see that there was a road in the distance, paved with yellow sticks. "What kind of an idea was that?" Dorothy muttered to herself. Then she jumped, hearing a rustling noise. "Kalidahs? No, wait, here they would be Collies, judging by the amount of dogs..." A little white and black Scottish terrier with a pattern on its fur that made it look like a chessboard leaped out of the bushes nearby, barking happily and jumping into Dorothy's arms. "Hellohellohello my name is Checkers can we play a game can we play a game checkers chess majhong chinese checkers bridge hearts simon says anything?" The terrier said in one breath before passing out. Dorothy just sat there, holding Checkers, blinking and wondering just how insane Auntie Em might think she was if she tried to explain where she'd been this time. "Checkers?" Dorothy said to the passed-out dog on her lap, poking it. "Checkers?" Checkers jumped a foot into the air and said, "Yeahyeahyeah I'z awakened what now what now what now?!" Dorothy gave Checkers a hard stare, and Checkers ran away. "Wow. He's easily intimidated," Dorothy muttered, standing up and brushing the dog shed off her nice clean skirt. Then she ran back to where Queenie was, and where she was still. "You were gone for five hours," Queenie said irritably. "Where were you?" "Dealing with insane dogs and chasing after one who wasn't there," Dorothy said. "Insane dogs? I trust you've met Loco, then." "...No?" "Oh, if there's an insane dog around here, Loco would be the one. The only thing keeping him from the world and an asylum is our policies. That, and we couldn't find a straitjacket that would fit a Scottish terrier. Oh, here comes Loco now." Dorothy stared as a dog, blue with red stripes, walked slowly towards them. "My name," it said, "is Sir Peanut Butter of Pickleos. I founded this fine land here." Then the dog suddenly spun in three quick circles and said, "Leave! Leave this place and never come back!" Then he turned around three more times and finished his speech with, "Live you in America, live you?" Then he bolted away, leaving Dorothy stunned and Queenie looking rather the same. "And that," she said slowly, "was Loco. How do you like this place?" "Um...HOW THE PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES DO I GET BACK TO KANSAS?!?!" Dorothy screamed at Queenie, who looked at Dorothy, smirking a little terrier smirk. "Is that really the best thing you could come up with? 'Peanut butter sandwiches'?" "Oh, shush." Several Scottish terrier heads looked up at Dorothy. "Peanut butter? Peanut butter? Oooh, I wants some peanut butter!" Half a dozen of the dogs were sitting at Dorothy's feet now, mouths open in case Dorothy had any food. "I don't have anything you can eat, shoo," Dorothy said to the dogs. Then it occured to her that she had nothing she could eat, either. "We can eat pencils," one of the dogs said. "And crayons," another dog barked. "And keep in mind we can devour chocolates too." "But that's dog poison! You can't eat that," Dorothy said. "Oh, no. Dogs everywhere except for where you come from, seemingly, can eat chocolates. Mmmm, Nutella," Checkers, who was part of the crowd, said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Alright, then," Dorothy muttured, searching her apron for anything. She found some lint, a hairbrush, a ruler, and some candy bars. "SIT!" She told the dogs, who obeyed. "STAY!" Then Dorothy walked away from the rather well-trained dogs. Then she decided to turn around and run.

 

She must've run around the entire village, because when Dorothy stopped running, she was back in front of the six dogs. "Did you find some noms?" they asked. Dorothy tossed everything in her apron to the Scottish terriers, who ate it all up. Dorothy couldn't help gagging, for some reason. Loco literally ran into Dorothy, who fell over. "STRIKE! You're out." Loco said, and then he turned around three times and whispered, "beware of the fugu fish, Charlie." "Who?" "Y'know, you remind me of the hero." "What hero?" "The hero with the power..." "What power?" "The power of fugu." "What now?" "I AM THE MOGLIN KING!" Then Loco fled. Dorothy turned to Queenie. "What's a moglin?"