Happy halloween

Or it would be if it wasn't 43 degrees outside. We'll all freeze. So I'm stuck here rather than There.
I went into the woods today and the stream is running about 30 miles an hour. There's a hill across from it, and I decided, "oh, why not," and started walk/climbing up it. And at the top...
...There's a pasture with about ten or so cows in it. And either a rabbit or a large chihuahua. Well, I'd been expecting something along the lines of 1) another hill 2) a cliff, or 3) A PORTAL TO ANOTHER DIMENSION, or even better, a lake, but no. All I get is a barbed wire fence, a rabbit dog, some cows and an almost 90 degree angled hill. So I walk/fall back down the darned hill, get to the bottom, make an arrow out of dead, damp sticks pointing up the hill so I know where the newly eroded trail is, cross the stream, get lost because I can't find the trail from our pasture to the woods, climb up another hill, find another pasture, get lost trying to get back from THERE, find a nine-foot tall cliff which, if I fell off of, would send me into the creek which is five inches deep, run from there, find the trail, get about a hundred feet from the trailhead, sit down on a log, which breaks, get back home, where I find out I'd spent less than an hour in the woods, also find out we're all going to FREEZE for said reasons.
Nothing is continuing to operate.
That and the movies Mom rented are going to kill me.