Happy halloween

Or it would be if it wasn't 43 degrees outside. We'll all freeze. So I'm stuck here rather than There.
I went into the woods today and the stream is running about 30 miles an hour. There's a hill across from it, and I decided, "oh, why not," and started walk/climbing up it. And at the top...
...There's a pasture with about ten or so cows in it. And either a rabbit or a large chihuahua. Well, I'd been expecting something along the lines of 1) another hill 2) a cliff, or 3) A PORTAL TO ANOTHER DIMENSION, or even better, a lake, but no. All I get is a barbed wire fence, a rabbit dog, some cows and an almost 90 degree angled hill. So I walk/fall back down the darned hill, get to the bottom, make an arrow out of dead, damp sticks pointing up the hill so I know where the newly eroded trail is, cross the stream, get lost because I can't find the trail from our pasture to the woods, climb up another hill, find another pasture, get lost trying to get back from THERE, find a nine-foot tall cliff which, if I fell off of, would send me into the creek which is five inches deep, run from there, find the trail, get about a hundred feet from the trailhead, sit down on a log, which breaks, get back home, where I find out I'd spent less than an hour in the woods, also find out we're all going to FREEZE for said reasons.
Nothing is continuing to operate.
That and the movies Mom rented are going to kill me.

Stupid Intersnail.

I have a name for dial-up internet.
We have the InterSnail.
Also
NOTHING WORKS.
Here's a list.

1. InterSnail
2. My computer
3. Common Sense
4. the Wi-Fi at Starbucks
5. The UNIVERSE!!!!

How to make something electronic work:

1. Argue with it.
2. Yell at it.
3. Push the power button until it submits.
4. Turn into a dinosaur, stomp it into bits and evolve into a bird who doesn't care.
5. Change the batteries.
6. Pay 200$+ for somebody else to fix it.
7. Get a new one.
8. Beg it to work.
9. Shake the screen until something happens.
10. Give up and come back later.
11. Read the user manual.

Chances of this working:

1. Nothing will happen.
2. Nothing will happen.
3. It'll fix it.
4. Great! You broke it.
5. You'll do something wrong and it'll break it.
6. Great! You broke it.
7. You'll go broke.
8. It'll fix it.
9. Great! You broke it.
10. It'll fix it.
11. You'll die crazy and bored because it took so long and you still don't know how to fix the thing.

Why do I try?

see more Epic Fails

Provided this works (which I know it will not why do I try)

My mind went into overdrive today.

List of stupid questions nobody knows the answers to:

1. Is the Cat in the Hat's hat red with white stripes or white with red stripes?
2. WHO IS THEY?!
3. Will a Fur Real animal eat my soul?
4. Is it possible to replace the batteries in a Kid's Meal toy without A. Killing yourself or B. Destroying something or C. Becoming radioactive and King Kong Jr.?
5. Is it raining?
6. How do you get your brother out of a room that is technically not yours but you don't want him sticking around anyhow?
7. How do you tell if you're about to slay the end boss but there's no health meters but your own?

Answers will be rewarded with 30-day bragging rights and lack of acupoketure if requested.

SUCCESS!!

http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=2746111744
THERE. Finally, something should happen!
(Caption on top of picture: Archeolocat is an archeoligist cat. I didn't spell that right. Oh well.

This is not working.

Okay. Obviously that did not work. Let me try this again...
Nope. Nothing. And again...
Grr. I give up.

Kitty!

There should be a picture of a cat on this. If not, I did not do it right. If yes, then Jake and I made it.

Chandler says
Hello
And good
Night 'cos I'm gonna
Die if I
Live any Long
E
R

Hello!

Greetings from Florida!
Starbucks is the most frustrating place for an internet connection,
nothing I packed actually matches,
the no-see-ums are going to devour me alive,
the campsite smells terrible,
the ocean stole my bracelet,
it looks like it's gonna rain,
the stupid Eee PC can't find the internet,
I only have 32 dollars which could be spent on a DS game provided they actually cost less than 29.99,
I think I saw a shark,
the internet time expires in about 3 minutes,
and I'm
BORED.
This is infrustrigatingly boredicalityationlike, that's pronounced IN-fruss-ting-gate-ing-lee-board-ee-cale-eat-ee-ay-tea-one-like.