The Wizard of Paws chapter 16 (sorry most of them are so short)

Chapter 16

Expect the Unexpected and All That 

"Why are you all leaving so soon?" Emmet asked as the four travelers got to the gates to the Emerald City. "The Great Paws told us to risk life and limb to go save ourselves," Checkers said. "We have to go and get kidnapped by Flying Monkeys and then be enslaved and then we have to come back after slaying the ruler of the West wherever and then we--" "Since when did we get kidnapped?" Dorothy interrupted. "Since now," Checkers said. "And you're seriously going to do all that?" Emmet asked. "Yes," Checkers said. "Can we go now?" "I don't see why not," Emmet said, opening the gates to the city.

"Won't we need to go through the Just A Field again?" Checkers asked when they got close to it. "Drat! Yes," Dorothy said. "Now how--" "Simple!" Checkers jumped onto Dorothy's head and Destiny grabbed onto Dorothy's leg and refused to let go. This way, they all got through, although Destiny came out looking like a pile of hay with eyes. "Could you please get off of my head?" Dorothy asked Checkers, irritated. "I'm your lookout," Checkers said, and this way he didn't have to walk for quite awhile. "Lucky dog," Dorothy grumbled. 

"Hey! I see something! It looks like a huge, metal thingie!" Checkers yelped. Dorothy looked at the sky. There was a something that looked like a huge metal whale with a flower on top that was spinning very fast-

"It's a helicopter! RUN!" Destiny screamed, and she dashed into the bushes. "Nope! This is all part of the master plan!" Checkers said, jumping off of Dorothy's head. "Flying monkeys, come for me now!" "No, idiot!" Dorothy picked Checkers up and tossed him into the bushes, then dived behind a tree, setting the picnic basket next to Checkers, who said, "what was that for?!" "You were asking to get kidnapped!" Dorothy snapped, searching the sky to make sure the helicopter was gone. "That was the plan. Remember?" Checkers scratched Dorothy on purpose. "Ow! What was that for?" "Dropping me and forgetting the plan." "Okay, then, if you're so intent on the stupid plan--" Dorothy picked Checkers up and was intending to toss him back onto the path when one of the dogs barked. Dorothy looked around and quickly realized that it was Loco. "Halt! I am from the Department of Animal Abuse That Isn't Built Yet. Set the dog down and surrender yourself to the Flying Monkeys." "You and what army that doesn't exist?" Dorothy said, setting Checkers on the ground anyway. "This army!" Loco said, and a group of chihuahuas swarmed from every direction. Some were even parachuting from the sky. Then they all stopped and stood perfectly still. "Do you know that chihuahuas have a very loud bark?" Loco said. He had somehow found a little army hat and was wearing it. "No, what's a chihuahua?" Dorothy asked, not liking the eerie silence much. "A small dog." Loco said, and he did a little dance that was apparently a signal for the chihuahuas to begin barking. "What is this infernal noise?!" Destiny shouted above all the noise. She had her head partially buried in the ground. "I THINK IT'S THE SOUNDS OF CHIHUAHUAS BARKING!!" Dorothy shouted back. She had her hands pressed over her ears. "I THINK IT'S LOVELY!" Checkers replied. He was swaying back and forth like this was a concert. Suddenly, a howl came from seemingly nowhere that was so loud, Dorothy was completely certain she would go deaf. "What was that?" Destiny asked, dazed. Even the chihuahuas were quiet. "It...came...from the picnic basket!" Loco said, backing away. "Stay back, minions!" The chihuahuas obeyed. "Oh, wait," Dorothy said, opening the picnic basket. "Good morning, Werren. You saved us from the chihuahuas but I think I'll be semi-deaf for a few days." "Win some, lose some," Werren said, stretching. "And you should hear me when I'm actually howling!" "Then that was a yawn?" Checkers said. Werren nodded. "This werewolf is dangerous! Retreat, minions, retreat!" Loco cried, running out of the bushes, onto the path, and into the bushes on the other side of the path, his chihuahua minions following. "So he's our enemy now?" Dorothy asked, stepping cautiously onto the path. "I suppose," Destiny said, "as long as he has those chihuahuas with him. Where the hey did they come from, anyway? I don't remember their kind in the Land of Paws." "Tourists?" Dorothy guessed. Checkers Scottish-terrier shrugged. 

The Wizard of Paws chapter 15

Chapter 15
Goodbye, Cruel World


"He's insane," Werren mumbled. "Sending us on a suicide mission? Insanity." "I resent that!" Came a voice from the bushes. "Who was that?" Dorothy said, whirling around. "Oh, probably Loco," Checkers said, Scottish-terrier shrugging. Dorothy didn't say anything. 


"I guess we need to leave now," Destiny sighed, looking around sadly at her home. "Seems like I just got here..." "Bingo," Checkers said. "It's only been seven hours and nine minutes." "Good for you!" Destiny said sarcastically. "Isn't it, though," Checkers said. "Come on," Dorothy said, walking towards the sleeping chambers. "We all need to rest up, first. Destiny, find the cook and ask him to ready some supplies for us, please." "Sure." Destiny trotted off towards the kitchen. "In the meantime--" Checkers said, and immediately fell asleep. "Yeah, good idea," Dorothy yawned, and she put Werren in his little doghouse and crawled into hers. Destiny, after failing to find the cook, gave up and went back to her doghouse that was not really hers. 


The next day, the cook had returned, and Destiny woke up early to go fetch him. Soon she had a little green picnic basket filled with green apples, green lemonade, green celery sticks, green dog treats, and green sandwiches with green peanut-butter. "Are you sure this is enough for all of you?" The cook asked. "Look, Emmie. One of the members of this party will eat anything. If nothing else, he'll eat the picnic basket." Destiny grabbed the picnic basket in her mouth. "Okay," Emmie said. "Good luck!" "Fank oo!" Destiny said--really "thank you"--but she still had the picnic basket. 


"Wakie, wakie," Checkers said, poking Dorothy. She didn't move. "Fine, then..." And he barked. "How do expect me to catch a fire-breathing--oh, hi, Checkers. What time is it?" "You've been asleep for the past nine hours. I thought you were hibernating," Checkers remarked. "Doesn't answer my question, but okay," Dorothy said sleepily, rubbing her eyes. "Where's Destiny?" "Ight 'ere," Destiny said, walking into the room, still carrying the picnic basket. "Okay, now we need Werren," Dorothy said, walking into his doghouse and shaking him awake. Werren awoke with a howl. "Hark! The full moon!" He said, and then fell right back to sleep. Dorothy soon gave up trying to wake him, took the picnic basket from Destiny, found a small pillow and put it on top of the food, and settled Werren on top of that. "There. Are we ready?" "Sure," Checkers said, and they all set off towards the great unknown. "Goodbye, cruel world," Werren mumbled. "Are you awake?" Dorothy asked. "Barely..." Werren said, yawning, and soon he was asleep again. 

The Wizard of Paws chapters 12-14

Chapter 12
This Is Not Good


"Oh no!" Destiny yelped. "Werren! Werren! Close your eyes or you'll go blind! Dorothy, put the glasses back on him!" Dorothy quickly tied the glasses back on Werren's nose. He opened his eyes. "Ack! Who turned out the lights?" He barked. "Oh, no..." Destiny muttered. "Werren? How many paws am I holding up?" "...One?" "Oh, no. Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no--can you see anything?" Destiny was pacing around the room nervously. "Nothing. I--" Werren stopped. "Is this permanent? Tell me!" "I...I don't know." Destiny said. "I'll go get a doctor!" Destiny fled. "Werren," Checkers said, "in case you're wondering, you're about to run--"
THUD!
"...Into a wall."
Werren said something colorful. "A BIT OF A SLOW WARNING THERE!!!" He shouted at Checkers, who stepped back. "Calm down, Werren," Dorothy said meekly, not liking the shouting. Destiny returned with a green St. Bernard. "I am Dr. Ernie," he said. "What's wrong with your friend here?" "His glasses fell off and he had his eyes open just long enough to damage them," Destiny explained. "He's blind." "I see," Dr. Ernie said, watching Werren bump into a doghouse. "How long must I suffer?" Werren howled. "Precisely how long were his eyes open?" "2.42 seconds," Checkers answered. "How did you do that?" Dorothy asked, amazed. "Internal stopwatch," Checkers said. "Amazing!" Dr. Ernie marveled. "That's very rare in Scottish terriers. Though according to my calculations, your friend here--" "My name is Werren," Werren growled. "--Sorry. Werren here ought to have his eyesight back in about...five weeks, though there may be side effects." "FIVE WEEKS?" Werren shouted, and he fainted. 


Chapter 13 
A Search


Werren came to a few minutes later. "I have another request for Paws," was the first thing he said. "And I'm not waiting overnight. I don't know about you guys, but I'm breaking into wherever Paws is. G'bye!" With this, he ran out the door.  "I'm going after him. There's no way he'll get back here otherwise," Destiny said, running after him. "Wait for me!" Dorothy said, chasing after her. Checkers sat there for a minute. "Well don't just leave me here!" He got up and followed them. 


By now, Destiny and Dorothy had caught up to Werren, who was about to run straight into a green marble pillar. "STOP!" Dorothy shouted. Werren managed to make a hairpin turn and skid to a stop right at Dorothy's feet. "Where is the throne room, anyway?" He asked irritably. "It's a five-minute walk to your left." Destiny said. Dorothy picked Werren up and carried him there, much to his humiliation. "Where's Checkers?" Destiny asked after a while. "He's still where we left him," Dorothy said. "I hope."


Checkers was in fact desperately trying to find where his friends had gone. "Have you seen a werewolf, a silver dog, or a human anywhere?" He kept asking. Either nobody knew what he was talking about, or they gave him directions to where they were, but by the time he got there, they had left. "Ugh. What now?" Checkers sighed, flopping down on the green ground. Then he heard a familiar noise. Something along the lines of bushes rustling...He looked up. Since when had there been an indoor garden? And then Loco came bounding out of the topiaries, singing something horribly off-key. "What's up with you?" Checkers asked. "Oh, a little doggie gave me some green stuff that tasted funny," Loco said, twirling around. Checkers stared at him blankly. "There he is!" Emmet said, stopping Loco before he fell over. "He broke into the City and then he wouldn't stop talking, so I gave him a concoction Dr. Ernie made so he would fall asleep, and then we could sneak him out... Turns out, the only effect it had on him was to make him act horribly drunk..." Emmet whispered. Checkers nodded. "Honestly, I see little difference." Loco began to mutter something about how he was Captain Hook, Peter Pan will pay for stealing the peanut-butter cookies, whatever that was. "Well, I think I could get him out anyway..." Emmet began dragging Loco towards the door. "Oh, by the way," Checkers added quickly, "do you know where Dory and the others are?" "Second star on the right, straight on 'til morning," Loco said. "Thanks!" Checkers called after him, searching for a star. 


By now, Dorothy, Werren, and Destiny had reached the throne room. "Wait!" Destiny said. "We have to wait for Checkers. It wouldn't be fair to go in there without him, after he's tagged along with us all this time." "I suppose you're right," Dorothy said, sitting down on a bench. "Are we there yet?" Werren asked. "Yes, but Checkers--" Suddenly, Checkers jumped up on the bench next to Dorothy. "...Hi, Checkers. Come on, let's go!" Dorothy said, jumping up. While they were walking towards the throne room, Dorothy whispered to Checkers, "how'd you get here so fast?" "I found a star on the floor and went to the right of it," Checkers said simply. 


Chapter 14
The Great Paws


"HALT!" Said two guards at the same time. They were both green-furred golden retrievers with little green hats on, and they stood in front of the throne room. "Why are you..." began the first one. "...Here to see Oz?" The other one finished. "I'm blind, she's lost, she wants her family back, and I dunno about him," Werren said, pointing first to himself, then to Dorothy, then to Destiny,  then to Checkers. Or at least he thought he did. "Okay..." "...Then. Right this..." "...Way!" The guards said, and they opened the doors to the throne room. 


The throne room was very dark and very ominous. Suddenly, a very loud voice penetrated the silence--
"I AM PAWS, THE WISE AND--"
"Cut to the chase!" Werren said. 
"DO NOT INTERRUPT ME!" The voice echoed, and Werren quickly shut up. 
"I AM PAWS, THE WISE AND NOW IRRITATED. WHAT TO YOU WANT? I HAVE NOT GOT ALL DAY!" 
Dorothy stepped forward. 
"I am Dorothy, and I just got back from a land much like this one. I am here because I was caught in a flash flood, and now I would like to return home. Can you do that?" 
"LET ME CONTEMPLATE THAT. YOU, BLIND ONE, WHY ARE YOU HERE?"
"I was going to ask you to cure my fear of the moon. I'm a werewolf. But then, I was tragically blinded, and there's no way I can survive for five weeks without eyesight. Can you help me?"
"SAME ANSWER. SILVER ONE, WHY ARE YOU HERE?"
"I was taken by the Flying Monkeys to the Witch's castle, but I fell out of the helicopter. My family, though, is still out there, and I need your help to get them back." 
"I SHALL SEE TO THAT. YOU, CHESSBOARD, WHY ARE YOU HERE?"
"It's a CHECKERBOARD, not a chessboard, for one, and for two, I'm here because I need concentration." 
"OH, THAT'S TOUGH. I WILL GIVE YOU ALL MY ANSWER. I KNOW HOW YOU CAN HELP YOURSELVES. GO TO THE CASTLE OF THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST. THERE, YOU WILL BE IMPRISONED, EXCEPT FOR THE HUMAN. SHE WILL BE ENSLAVED."
"That's not helpful at all!" Checkers barked. Werren started growling. 
"HUSH AND GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! YOU WILL ALL SEE HOW THIS WILL WORK SOON ENOUGH. NOW GO!"

The Wizard of Paws chapter 11

Chapter 11
The Emerald City 


"You'll have to wear these sunglasses so the brightness and glory of the Emerald City won't injure your eyesight," the gatekeeper said. He was carrying a basket of green sunglasses in his mouth. Dorothy noticed something odd about him, aside from his green fur. "Hey! You're not a Scottish Terrier!" The gatekeeper just looked at Dorothy and said, "it sure took you a pathetically long time to notice that. And I'm not a Scottish Terrier...but are you a dog? No. My name is Emmet, and I am a dachshund. And you are...?" "Dorothy." "Okay then, Dory, if you would just put these glasses on..." Emmet rummaged through the basket of sunglasses. "Okay, this is the biggest size of sunglasses we have." Dorothy put them on, muttering, "why is everybody calling me Dory?", and suddenly everything went dim and various shades of green. She took them off. Everything was bright and normal colored. She put them back on. "This is an amazing invention!" She marveled. "Yes, isn't it?" said Emmet, beaming. Dorothy looked at Destiny, Checkers, and Werren. Checkers was twirling around to look at everything. "Dory! Look! We're here already!" He shouted. Werren looked very irritated. "Do we have to wear these ridiculous things?" He scratched at his sunglasses, which Emmet had fastened onto his head with string. Destiny was running around in circles. "Let's go! Let's go! I want to see if anyone I know is here! I want to see home again!" Emmet looked hard at Destiny. "Do I know you?" Destiny stopped. "I used to live here. I'm Destiny, remember?" There was a short pause, then Emmet jumped in the air. "Destiny! Destiny! You survived! Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!" They both ran around in circles, playing tag. "Okay, okay," Emmet said, panting, flopped on the grass. "Why...why are you here?" He got up and resumed his pose of  official-ness. "We're here to see the Great Paws!" Dorothy said. "I don't see why not," said Emmet, and he opened the gates. 


"Wow!" Dorothy gasped. Everything in the Emerald City was...well, green. The ground was green, the gates were green, and the little doghouses scattered around the place were green, with green flowers growing in the green window boxes. Even the sky looked green. Destiny frowned. "Something seems a bit off." She bounded off into the group of doghouses and came back a few minutes later. "Where is my house?" "I can't tell you that." Emmet said, leading the group into a huge doghouse. "This is where you shall stay before you meet the Great Paws, after that he might either kick you out or send you off questing, the outcome is a bit random each time," Emmet explained.  He led them into a room with three doghouses and a large doghouse with a blanket in it. "Those ones are for you three." Emmet gestured to Checkers, Destiny, and Werren, and then to the smaller doghouses. "Dory, you get this one." He pointed to the largest one with his paw. "As you can see, we're not used to accommodating humans."  "Oh, I can see that. When can we see the wizard?" Dorothy asked. "Tomorrow. Goodnight!" Emmet said, and he left. "But it's only noon!" Dorothy shouted, but Emmet couldn't hear her. "Oh, well. What now, guys?" Checkers asked, staring at the ceiling and counting the emerald stars. "I dunno about you guys," Werren said, scratching at the string keeping his sunglasses on, "but I vote we ditch the glasses, run outta here, and pretend like this entire endeavor never happened!" With that, the string on the sunglasses snapped, and they fell off of Werren's nose. 

The Wizard of Paws chapter 10

Chapter 10
At Longest Last!


"Aw, come on," Checkers begged. "Why won't you tell us the poem?" "Because," Destiny said simply, "it's long and quite dumb, I think." "No time for arguments!" Dorothy said. "We're almost there. Look, I can see The Emerald City already! Come on, let's go!" And the group set off for the city. 


Upon arriving at the city, the group ran into the gates. Checkers did so literally.  "%@**$!" he exclaimed, and Destiny and Dorothy gasped. "Checkers! I didn't even know you knew that word!" Dorothy said. "I didn't know it either," Checkers replied, rubbing his nose. "I just said the first thing I thought of. Anyway, there's a sign here." He pointed with his paw at a sign that said, clear as crystal:
BELL NOT WORKING
PLEASE KNOCK
Dorothy knocked once on the door. Nothing happened.  She did so again. Nothing happened.  Destiny began barking, and Werren started howling while Dorothy kept knocking. Still, nothing happened. "I was afraid of this!" Destiny cried. "The Flying Monkeys have taken everybody!" "I have an idea!" Checkers said, and he began singing at the top of his lungs.


We are here! We are here! We are here!


So, with Checkers singing, Dorothy knocking, Destiny barking, and Werren howling, they eventually caught the attention of the gatekeeper. "What is the purpose of this cacophony?!" He shouted above the noise, and instantly everybody stopped. "Can't you read?!" "I tried doing what it said and nothing happened!" Dorothy said back. The gatekeeper looked at the sign. "Oh. Wrong one. Sorry." And he grabbed the sign with his teeth and pulled it over the gates. It was soon replaced with another one:


GATE NOT WORKING
PLEASE USE BELL


"Well, that may have been more useful to know before," Werren muttered. Dorothy rang the bell. "That's more like it!" The gatekeeper said. "Come in!" And he opened the gates. 

Jacob's Song: 101 Ways to Die Abnormally

(really, it's only sixteen)

Be vaporized by Spock
Get your face eaten by a hawk
Be crushed by a piano
Get cursed to die by a pharaoh
Get shot by an arrow
Fall off a cliff after winning a Camaro
Getting impaled on a toothbrush and
Getting shot by an insane Russian
Listening to my sister sing
Getting killed by the girl in The Ring
Get your head crushed by the Thing
Getting blinded by too much bling

This is a song we like to sing
Makes you feel like you could die from anything
Anytime
Oh my God I can't think of another rhyme

You got left alone
Died from too much cologne
Cologne put you in pain
Why didn't you listen to Train?
Get killed by a werewolf bite
We have to leave early tonight
There's zombies out there and
You freaking hate our band

This is a song we like to sing

Makes you feel like you could die from anything

Anytime

Oh my God I can't think of another rhyme

101 Ways to Die Abnormally
Written by Jacob 
Co-written by me
Has not been recorded yet

Baking stuff

While Dorothy and her companions walk on towards Paws, I think I'll take a break from story.

This morning I decided to bake something and hopefully not burn it/flavor it like cardboard. So I went into the kitchen and spent who-knows-how-long making cinnamon muffins.

Apparently using enough canola spray to injure a lesser mortal to grease the muffin tin really helps.

And also if you fill the muffin tins only about a quarter of the way full, then bake the muffins for about 7 minutes, they come out looking like little pies.

And then if you dip the muffin tops in melted butter, then in a mixture of a 1/3 cup of sugar and a teaspoon of cinnamon, it makes the muffins look even more like pies, because then they look toasty.

I served the 12 muffin-pies to my innocent family, and they ate them and they didn't suffer any negative side effects from all of the butter required to make them. This is a very good thing. When I made orange cookies about a year ago, they burned and tasted like orange peels. Then Britney and I made Summer Fruit Smushle using enough powdered sugar to knock a dog unconscious, and Emily and I made icing that was the color of slime/wet cement...

Jacob's Song of the Week (possibly becoming the Song of the Month now) is coming very, very, very soon.

The Wizard of Paws chapters 8-9

Chapter 8
Werren 


"Toto! Toto! Where were you all this time, you stupid mutt?!" Dorothy shouted, quite angry with Toto for abandoning her at the beginning of the trip. Toto barked and growled. Dorothy held him at arm's length. Toto has somehow grown fangs and had red eyes. "Oh dear god! You're not Toto at all!" She yelped, almost dropping the daemon dog but instead she quickly set him down on the ground. "Toto? Who's Toto? I'm not Toto, I'm a fearsome werewolf! Surrender now, or perish!" The dog said, barking madly between sentences. "STOP BARKING!!!" Checkers screamed, and the dog stopped immediately. "Thank you," Checkers said, and he turned around to start counting the sticks in the road. The dog started whimpering. "Why are you yelling at me?" He said, looking quite miserable. "Awwww, look at 'em," Loco cooed. "Shut up," the dog said. Dorothy patted him on the head. "Oh no you don't woman. I am a werewolf, not a lap dog--" Dorothy then began scratching him behind the ears. Loco had found a sheet of paper and was now reading it, after somehow having acquired reading glasses. "Hm. Hey, dog, what's your name?" "Werren," the dog said. "Okay then. What chapter is this?" Everybody stopped to ponder this. "The heck?" Checkers said after a minute. "Trick question. This is Chapter 8. Werren, what are you afraid of?" Even more awkward silence. Werren ran over to Loco and whispered something in his ear. "THE DARK!? Oh, my my my my my!" "What?" Destiny, who had remained quiet for quite some time now, said. "It seems as if your party is out of room! Well, I must leave you all to your devices. Goodbye, peasants!" Loco said hurriedly, and he dashed into the bushes. Werren turned to Dorothy and said, "mind if I join you?" "Are you going to the Emerald City, too? 'Cos if you aren't we're leaving you here." "Dorothy! Be nice to the werewolf!" Destiny said. "Sorry. Well, are you?" "The Emerald City. Wait, gimme a second...Oh! That's where the Great Wizard lives, no?" "Yes, he does live there." "Do you think he could cure a phobia of the dark?" "Well, if he can help this guy (at this Dorothy motioned to Checkers, who was singing something involving laundry and freeze rays), then there's no reason he shouldn't be able to help you," Dorothy said, pondering. "Okay. So the answer to my question is yes?" Werren asked, looking hopeful. "You can come with us," Dorothy sighed, just wanting to get out of this place. "YAY! Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!" Werren cried, jumping for joy. Then he stopped and resumed his original fearsome werewolf pose. "I mean...(ahem) thank you, Dorothy." Then he turned to Destiny, who was now singing with Checkers about bad horses and letters. "Come along, you two! To the Emerald City we go!"



Chapter 9
Just a Field


"Ow! The light! It burns!" Werren yelped upon exiting the forest, entering a field of golden wheat.  "Werren, the sky is covered in clouds. I'm not sure what color the sun even is here." Dorothy said, looking at the yellow and chartreuse clouds. "Can't blame me. I've been in that forest ever since I was a puppy. Man, I was a cute little werewolfling..." Werren stared into space, reminiscing. "By the way, the sun is orange and red," Checkers added. "Nice to know. Looks like the only thing separating us from the Emerald City now is this field!" Dorothy said cheerfully, pointing at the bright green towers of the Emerald City in the horizon. The group set off through  the field. There was something about this that Dorothy didn't think of at the time but suddenly realized now. The wheat in the field was taller than her companions, and soon Checkers, Werren, and Destiny all got lost. 
"MARCO!" Shouted Werren.
"POLO!" Destiny shouted back.
"Who's Marco?"  Checkers asked.
"Shush you and go along with it! We're trying to find out where we are anyway--ow! That was my paw, Destiny!" Werren said, bumping into her.
"Sorry. At least two of us are in the same spot. Marco, Checkers, Marco!"
"I'm right here!"
"WHERE?!" 
Dorothy stayed perfectly still this whole time, for fear that she might accidentally step on one of her companions.  "Checkers! If you can hear me, start singing one of those songs you were singing earlier! It might help!" 
So Checkers began singing something Dorothy couldn't comprehend about angels singing and moral dilemmas. 
"That's not helping!" Destiny said, running around like a madman. She finally ran straight into Dorothy, who picked her up and set her on her shoulder. Destiny was panting and looked about ready to pass out. "Okay, Werren, jump as high as you can!" Dorothy said. Werren jumped as high as he could, but the tips of his ears barely cleared the wheat. "Keep jumping!" Dorothy made her way carefully through the field, trying to get to Werren, keep Destiny balanced on her shoulder--by now she had decided to take a nap--and trying not to step on Checkers, all at the same time. Eventually she got to where Werren was, and she picked him up and put him on her other shoulder. Werren held on for dear life by wrapping his little arms around her neck. Dorothy decided to carry Destiny in her arms instead. "Checkers! How high can you jump?" Dorothy asked. Checkers, still singing, began jumping so high he cleared the tops of the wheat stalks and landed with a thud. "Stay right where you are!" Dorothy ordered, and she walked over to where Checkers had landed. "I can't carry another dog, so you have to walk directly next to me until we get out of here. Okay?" Dorothy said, saying each word individually. "Yessir!" Checkers said. This way, they all got out of the field. Dorothy poked Destiny awake, and soon they all were on the road to The Emerald City again. "Yeah, Dory," Checkers said to Dorothy. "Just a field, huh?" "I'd really hoped you'd stop calling me that." Dorothy said flatly. "Aw, come on, Dory. You can give me a nickname." "Okay then, Annoying." "Annoying? Interesting nickname. Hey, Werren, mind if I call you Wolfie?" Werren actually snarled at Checkers. "Call me Wolfie under pain of death, midget." "Personally, I like the nickname Annoying better, Wolfie." "Hey, don't I get a nickname?" Destiny asked. "Sure you do, um, Sparky." "Really? Sparky? I was thinking more of..." "Of what?" Checkers asked. "...Glitterbug?" "Honestly?" Dorothy asked. Destiny shrugged as much as a Scottish terrier can. "I got bored sitting in that dog crate. I also came up with a poem, but there's no way on Earth you're getting me to recite it." 

The Wizard of Paws chapter 8

Chapter 8
The Forest


"How long is this forest, anyway?" Checkers asked, skipping alongside Dorothy, whose feet were beginning to hurt. "Oh, somewhere along the vicinity of three more miles," Destiny said carelessly, seeming entirely unaffected by walking for very long distances. "ACK! Stop! Stop!" Dorothy suddenly shrieked, stopping immediately, causing Destiny, who was walking behind her, to bump into Dorothy's legs. This caused Dorothy to fall over, and Checkers jumped out of the way and into the bushes. There was a lot of rustling, and then Loco rolled out of the bushes and somersaulted onto the pathway, flopping onto the ground. "Turn left to your final destination," he said. There was a long, awkward silence as Dorothy picked herself up. Then Loco suddenly focused on one of the sticks in the path and said, "we meet again." Dorothy blinked. Destiny backed away slowly. Checkers said, "meet who again?" "Oh, this pathway," Loco explained, standing up. "It's been following me everywhere and it won't leave me be." "I see," Checkers said. To Destiny, he said, "don't worry, he's a friend." Destiny looked Loco up and down. "Odd fur color." "Thank you. Mind if I walk with you for a while? You see, I'm lost." "Does this explain why you keep following us everywhere?" Dorothy asked. Loco nodded. "Okay, then. How long do you need to follow us for, and how long is your attention span?" Dorothy glanced at Checkers, who was counting the leaves on a tree for a few seconds before switching to counting the checkers on his fur. "Only to the Emerald City. And don't worry about me, I don't get distracted e--oh, look, a werewolf!" Loco pointed to a moving shadow in the trees. Everybody except Checkers turned to look at it. Suddenly, the shadow burst out of the trees, growling.  It ran straight into Checkers, knocking him clean off his paws and into the air. He did a backwards flip and landed perfectly on his paws. Loco even applauded. "He deserves a round of a-paws," he said, chuckling to himself at his own joke. Dorothy rolled her eyes. The shadow was no shadow at all anymore, but instead was now a little black furred Scottish terrier that was growling at Checkers. "Toto? Toto!" Dorothy cried, running towards the dog.