Yep, this is the end! The Wizard of Paws is going through a tedious manual editing process, in which I'm copy/pasting all of the story into OpenOffice, so I can look for plot-holes and character flaws, and fix them! So far, I have found an obvious failure in the chapter numbering system: There are two chapter eights, so starting from "The Forest", consider all chapters to be a number greater than they are (chapter 9=10, chapter 11= chapter 12). I also forgot that Checkers was obsessed with games, that the Emerald City was supposed to be called "The Emerald-Rock-Candy City", that Dorothy was supposed to write a song about Checkers, and that Loco turns around three times before acting like another person.
My, my, aren't I sort of bad at this.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Does anyone care?
I seem to be getting 0 feedback about The Wizard of Paws as of late. Hello? Anyone there?
Also, expect a few months between the end of TWP and the beginning of the next parody, if I ever do one.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
The Wizard of Paws chapters 21-22
The End (of the castle) Part III
"Dorothy? Dorothy, wake up!"
Dorothy awoke to find that she was being licked on the face by--
"TOTO!" Dorothy cried, scooping up the long-lost puppy in her arms. "This time it really is you!" "Yes! 'Tis!" Toto gasped, squirming free from Dorothy's death grip. "Where'd you come from?" "I dunno. Guess what? I can talk and I'm the right-paw-man to the Great Paws! Isn't this amazing?" "Yes! Yes! Wait. Where's the huge crow-witch-thing? I tried killing her with water, but..." "Oh, she's right there," Toto said, pointing to a huge cage Dorothy hadn't seen hanging from the ceiling. The raven was locked inside, spewing a long stream of curses. "How'd you do that?" Dorothy asked. "Simple. Some crazy Scottish Terrier came from the ceiling, with a tribe of Chihuahua Indians following him. It was amazing!" "Good to hear Loco lived," Dorothy muttered. "Oh? That's his name?" Toto asked. "Yep. Where'd they go?" "If you speak of Loco and his band of merry men, they turned into ninjas and ran away under cover of smoke bombs. If you speak of those other three Scottish Terriers who were fighting in that room back there, then the silver one detonated the whole place." "Oh, s-- they're dead?!" Dorothy leaped to her feet, stumbling backwards. "No, no, you see--" "Come on, Toto!" Dorothy snapped her fingers and ran into the other room.
Indeed, something had detonated. There were bits of plaster and stones. The chandelier had crashed onto the ground, leaving bits of glass everywhere. "Destiny? Checkers? Werren?" Dorothy called out. "Here," said a tiny voice. Dorothy whirled around and saw that Werren was climbing out of a Werren-shaped hole in the wall. That had to hurt. Checkers ran into the room. "I ran off when Destiny started summoning fireballs. What happened? And where's Destiny?" "DESTINY!" Shouted Toto. "Marco! Marco! Marco!" Cried Checkers, frantic. Werren heard a barely audible whimper. "It came from the rubble!" He shouted, pointing to a pile of rocks. The group ran to where Destiny lay. She had been struck by a rock, but thankfully was laying beside the rubble, not in it. "Hey, Dorothy," Destiny said, coughing. "Looks like I do have a superpower. A pyroknenetic Scottish Terrier. Funny, huh?" "Are you okay?" Said Werren. Destiny coughed again. "I dunno," she said after a pause. "I might be crippled. Doubt I'm gonna die, though. Hey, who's the extra dog?" "This is Toto, who ran off at the beginning of this quest-thing and only recently came back," explained Dorothy, patting Toto on the head. "Let's get you to a vet," Checkers said. "I'll get the League of Ordinary Gentle Dogs." And he ran off to get the group. Together, they managed to carry Destiny out of the castle. The Tiddlywinks, seeing that people were leaving of their own free will, followed the group out of the castle. "Hey! I have an idea!" Piped up Ralphie. "Let's burn down the castle!" "How? There still might be Tiddlywinks inside!" Said one of the Tiddlywinks. Werren, in an afterthought, ran into the castle again and began barking. "Nope! Nobody!" He confirmed. "Then let's burn the place to the ground!" Cheered the Tiddlywinks. With multitudes of sticks, tar, and the assistance of Dorothy's opposable thumbs, soon the castle was ablaze!
And nobody noticed a little cat with stars in its fur run into the woods...
A week later, Destiny was lying in the veterinarian's office in The Emerald City, while Dorothy was arranging for Destiny's doghouse to be returned. Apparently, it was taken to be used for firewood, because Destiny had been gone for such a long time, and this was the policy in the Emerald City, albeit a very crummy one. Werren and Toto were playing checkers, using Checkers as the board and Velcro checker pieces to play. Checkers was flopped in front of the veterinarian's office, rather bored. All of the Tiddlywinks had returned to their hometowns or had moved into The Emerald City, so the bustling city was now even more noisy. Toto, in his sparetime, had begun selling earplugs. The League of Ordinary Gentle Dogs held meetings in a room built for this purpose; the League now totaled 40 main members, with 1,000 supporters and at least 90 minor members. Things were running smoothly, now that The Witch was destroyed.
Chapter 22
A Quest, Again
"Hey, everyone!" Shouted Emmet. "The Witch isn't dead! She was last seen wandering around at the train station. Will anybody volunteer to go and destroy her once-and-for-all?" The crowd was very puzzled. "That's suicidal!" "Where did you hear this?" "We have a train station?" "What's a train?" "Where's Paws when you need him?" "Okay...In cases like this one, we always take the last poor saps--ack! Brave heroes, I mean to say--who last quested and make them do it," said Emmet, scratching his ears nervously. "But since Destiny is unable to go, we shall have Toto go in her place. Sorry, Destiny!"
And so, Dorothy, Checkers, Toto, and Werren all ventured out to the Furry Fast ("horrible pun, there," remarked Werren) Train Station to find the Witch. And they hadn't even spoken to Paws yet, either.
"Dorothy? Dorothy, wake up!"
Dorothy awoke to find that she was being licked on the face by--
"TOTO!" Dorothy cried, scooping up the long-lost puppy in her arms. "This time it really is you!" "Yes! 'Tis!" Toto gasped, squirming free from Dorothy's death grip. "Where'd you come from?" "I dunno. Guess what? I can talk and I'm the right-paw-man to the Great Paws! Isn't this amazing?" "Yes! Yes! Wait. Where's the huge crow-witch-thing? I tried killing her with water, but..." "Oh, she's right there," Toto said, pointing to a huge cage Dorothy hadn't seen hanging from the ceiling. The raven was locked inside, spewing a long stream of curses. "How'd you do that?" Dorothy asked. "Simple. Some crazy Scottish Terrier came from the ceiling, with a tribe of Chihuahua Indians following him. It was amazing!" "Good to hear Loco lived," Dorothy muttered. "Oh? That's his name?" Toto asked. "Yep. Where'd they go?" "If you speak of Loco and his band of merry men, they turned into ninjas and ran away under cover of smoke bombs. If you speak of those other three Scottish Terriers who were fighting in that room back there, then the silver one detonated the whole place." "Oh, s-- they're dead?!" Dorothy leaped to her feet, stumbling backwards. "No, no, you see--" "Come on, Toto!" Dorothy snapped her fingers and ran into the other room.
Indeed, something had detonated. There were bits of plaster and stones. The chandelier had crashed onto the ground, leaving bits of glass everywhere. "Destiny? Checkers? Werren?" Dorothy called out. "Here," said a tiny voice. Dorothy whirled around and saw that Werren was climbing out of a Werren-shaped hole in the wall. That had to hurt. Checkers ran into the room. "I ran off when Destiny started summoning fireballs. What happened? And where's Destiny?" "DESTINY!" Shouted Toto. "Marco! Marco! Marco!" Cried Checkers, frantic. Werren heard a barely audible whimper. "It came from the rubble!" He shouted, pointing to a pile of rocks. The group ran to where Destiny lay. She had been struck by a rock, but thankfully was laying beside the rubble, not in it. "Hey, Dorothy," Destiny said, coughing. "Looks like I do have a superpower. A pyroknenetic Scottish Terrier. Funny, huh?" "Are you okay?" Said Werren. Destiny coughed again. "I dunno," she said after a pause. "I might be crippled. Doubt I'm gonna die, though. Hey, who's the extra dog?" "This is Toto, who ran off at the beginning of this quest-thing and only recently came back," explained Dorothy, patting Toto on the head. "Let's get you to a vet," Checkers said. "I'll get the League of Ordinary Gentle Dogs." And he ran off to get the group. Together, they managed to carry Destiny out of the castle. The Tiddlywinks, seeing that people were leaving of their own free will, followed the group out of the castle. "Hey! I have an idea!" Piped up Ralphie. "Let's burn down the castle!" "How? There still might be Tiddlywinks inside!" Said one of the Tiddlywinks. Werren, in an afterthought, ran into the castle again and began barking. "Nope! Nobody!" He confirmed. "Then let's burn the place to the ground!" Cheered the Tiddlywinks. With multitudes of sticks, tar, and the assistance of Dorothy's opposable thumbs, soon the castle was ablaze!
And nobody noticed a little cat with stars in its fur run into the woods...
A week later, Destiny was lying in the veterinarian's office in The Emerald City, while Dorothy was arranging for Destiny's doghouse to be returned. Apparently, it was taken to be used for firewood, because Destiny had been gone for such a long time, and this was the policy in the Emerald City, albeit a very crummy one. Werren and Toto were playing checkers, using Checkers as the board and Velcro checker pieces to play. Checkers was flopped in front of the veterinarian's office, rather bored. All of the Tiddlywinks had returned to their hometowns or had moved into The Emerald City, so the bustling city was now even more noisy. Toto, in his sparetime, had begun selling earplugs. The League of Ordinary Gentle Dogs held meetings in a room built for this purpose; the League now totaled 40 main members, with 1,000 supporters and at least 90 minor members. Things were running smoothly, now that The Witch was destroyed.
Chapter 22
A Quest, Again
"Hey, everyone!" Shouted Emmet. "The Witch isn't dead! She was last seen wandering around at the train station. Will anybody volunteer to go and destroy her once-and-for-all?" The crowd was very puzzled. "That's suicidal!" "Where did you hear this?" "We have a train station?" "What's a train?" "Where's Paws when you need him?" "Okay...In cases like this one, we always take the last poor saps--ack! Brave heroes, I mean to say--who last quested and make them do it," said Emmet, scratching his ears nervously. "But since Destiny is unable to go, we shall have Toto go in her place. Sorry, Destiny!"
And so, Dorothy, Checkers, Toto, and Werren all ventured out to the Furry Fast ("horrible pun, there," remarked Werren) Train Station to find the Witch. And they hadn't even spoken to Paws yet, either.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
The Wizard of Paws chapter 20
The End (of the castle) part II
"Sagrado cuadrúpedo mamÃfero que se encuentra en los pastos!" Cried Destiny. "What?" Asked Checkers. "It's Italian; this really isn't the time to ask questions!" Dorothy said, guessing the language randomly. "Werren, stay out of the way!"
What had happened during the last 15 days (other than cleaning the castle) was basically this:
Werren had gotten the most part of his sight back, and he could now identify people he knew.
Dorothy had gotten around to fixing three and a half doors in the castle.
Destiny had, on a random impulse, decided to learn Spanish, mostly for the purpose of alternative swearing. It's not known how she actually found the resources to do this.
Checkers had started some sort of secret society with three other dogs--Ralphie, a miniature dauchsund; Allie, a golden retriever; and Koo-koo-ca-choo, a Scottish terrier with what appeared to be a walrus mustache. The society, "The League of Ordinary Gentle Dogs", was no longer secret when, in the second meeting, Checkers asked the members to advertise because "it's boring with only four members".
Then, on the 14th day, the four brave adventurers finally found where The Witch was.
At the moment, The Witch of the West had sent her best guards at Destiny, Dorothy, Checkers, and Werren. Werren, being able to see very little, was still able to fly around and attack at least one out of the ten guards. Checkers was running around, too fast for the guards to catch. Dorothy was trying to get to the room where the Witch was, and Destiny tried to stay out of the way, due to her inability to fight. "We're outnumbered!" Shouted Werren, floating to the ceiling. "Oh, really, now?" Checkers called back sarcastically, swiping a guard in the face and running away. "A little help, here?" Destiny squeaked. "Cover me!" Dorothy shouted, unnecessarily, as she found a door and ran into the room behind it, which turned out to be a storage closet full of cat food. "That's horrifically odd," Dorothy muttered to herself as she quickly left.
Meanwhile, The Witch had given up on her original ten guards, which were highly promoted Tiddlywinks, and had instead deployed her army of twenty cats, all highly skilled warriors. Destiny was being held at clawpoint by a Siamese cat, who was trying to get her to say what the Great Paws looked like. "I dunno...he was a giant rubber duck?" Destiny said randomly. "That is insane!" Said the Siamese cat, hissing. Destiny flinched. "The Master wishes to know what the Great Paws looks like so she may launch an attack on him! The Reign of Dogs has lasted long enough! We cats shall--" Before the cat could finish, Werren pounced on him and boxed his ears. "Youch! That's hardly fair! HELP!" "Never! Dogs are the rightful rulers of Paws! The land is even named after one!" Said Werren, growling. "Oi, let him go!" Shouted Checkers. "We're not trying to get anyone killed or involved in the election of world leader, here!" Werren gave the cat a final swat and flew off.
In the meantime, Dorothy was facing the vicious Witch of the West in her throne room. "You're a cat!" Cried Dorothy, very much surprised. Indeed the Witch was. She was a smoke Persian cat, with white stars scattered here and there in her fur. "Yes, I'm a cat. What else would I be? An eight-foot-tall Great Dane that breathes lightning?" "Perhaps." Dorothy saw a bucket of water nearby. "Anyway, sorry, but--" And then Dorothy picked up the bucket of water and tossed it on the Witch. "Take that! Muhahaha!" Dorothy shouted, quite enjoying herself. Then the room was filled with smoke. Rather than the witch lamenting over the world and such as she melted, as the smoke cleared, where the Witch was there was a 12 foot tall raven. Dorothy nearly fainted. "HOLY FRACKING TOASTED PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES!!" And then she really did faint.
"Sagrado cuadrúpedo mamÃfero que se encuentra en los pastos!" Cried Destiny. "What?" Asked Checkers. "It's Italian; this really isn't the time to ask questions!" Dorothy said, guessing the language randomly. "Werren, stay out of the way!"
What had happened during the last 15 days (other than cleaning the castle) was basically this:
Werren had gotten the most part of his sight back, and he could now identify people he knew.
Dorothy had gotten around to fixing three and a half doors in the castle.
Destiny had, on a random impulse, decided to learn Spanish, mostly for the purpose of alternative swearing. It's not known how she actually found the resources to do this.
Checkers had started some sort of secret society with three other dogs--Ralphie, a miniature dauchsund; Allie, a golden retriever; and Koo-koo-ca-choo, a Scottish terrier with what appeared to be a walrus mustache. The society, "The League of Ordinary Gentle Dogs", was no longer secret when, in the second meeting, Checkers asked the members to advertise because "it's boring with only four members".
Then, on the 14th day, the four brave adventurers finally found where The Witch was.
At the moment, The Witch of the West had sent her best guards at Destiny, Dorothy, Checkers, and Werren. Werren, being able to see very little, was still able to fly around and attack at least one out of the ten guards. Checkers was running around, too fast for the guards to catch. Dorothy was trying to get to the room where the Witch was, and Destiny tried to stay out of the way, due to her inability to fight. "We're outnumbered!" Shouted Werren, floating to the ceiling. "Oh, really, now?" Checkers called back sarcastically, swiping a guard in the face and running away. "A little help, here?" Destiny squeaked. "Cover me!" Dorothy shouted, unnecessarily, as she found a door and ran into the room behind it, which turned out to be a storage closet full of cat food. "That's horrifically odd," Dorothy muttered to herself as she quickly left.
Meanwhile, The Witch had given up on her original ten guards, which were highly promoted Tiddlywinks, and had instead deployed her army of twenty cats, all highly skilled warriors. Destiny was being held at clawpoint by a Siamese cat, who was trying to get her to say what the Great Paws looked like. "I dunno...he was a giant rubber duck?" Destiny said randomly. "That is insane!" Said the Siamese cat, hissing. Destiny flinched. "The Master wishes to know what the Great Paws looks like so she may launch an attack on him! The Reign of Dogs has lasted long enough! We cats shall--" Before the cat could finish, Werren pounced on him and boxed his ears. "Youch! That's hardly fair! HELP!" "Never! Dogs are the rightful rulers of Paws! The land is even named after one!" Said Werren, growling. "Oi, let him go!" Shouted Checkers. "We're not trying to get anyone killed or involved in the election of world leader, here!" Werren gave the cat a final swat and flew off.
In the meantime, Dorothy was facing the vicious Witch of the West in her throne room. "You're a cat!" Cried Dorothy, very much surprised. Indeed the Witch was. She was a smoke Persian cat, with white stars scattered here and there in her fur. "Yes, I'm a cat. What else would I be? An eight-foot-tall Great Dane that breathes lightning?" "Perhaps." Dorothy saw a bucket of water nearby. "Anyway, sorry, but--" And then Dorothy picked up the bucket of water and tossed it on the Witch. "Take that! Muhahaha!" Dorothy shouted, quite enjoying herself. Then the room was filled with smoke. Rather than the witch lamenting over the world and such as she melted, as the smoke cleared, where the Witch was there was a 12 foot tall raven. Dorothy nearly fainted. "HOLY FRACKING TOASTED PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICHES!!" And then she really did faint.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
The Wizard of Paws chapter 19
Chapter 19
The End (of the Castle) Part I
"Hey, it just occurred to me." Checkers said. "Didn't the Great Paws say that us Terriers were going to be imprisoned?" "Imprisoned, enslaved, hardly any difference," Dorothy said, still running, which is rather hard to do in a dress. "You guys, how fast can you run?" "Dunno, never needed to," Destiny said. "Very, very, very, very fast," Checkers said quickly. "Alright, then." Dorothy set Checkers down. "Onward!" "Where?" "Follow me, then." Dorothy took off running again, using her apron to carry Destiny in like a basket. Checkers barked and ran off in a little cloud of dust. Dorothy blinked and skidded to a halt. "Where did he go?" "Right here!" Dorothy whirled around. Checkers was standing behind her. "Wow! Did you just run around the world?" "I think so. There was a bit of sand and then a bit of water and a bit of cornfields. I said I could run fast! And now I'm hungry." Checkers looked around and took a bite out of a nearby banister. "A bit dry, but hey, it's edible." "Could you run a bit slower?" "Yes," Checkers said, and followed Dorothy by running like a normal Scottish Terrier should. About five seconds later, they fell through a trapdoor and landed in the labyrinth.
"That went swimmingly!" Checkers sputtered. "Literally!" Destiny said, doggy-paddling to shore. They had managed to land in the part of the labyrinth with the pond in it. Dorothy, however, had caught herself just in time and didn't fall down the trapdoor. She jumped down instead to avoid breaking something.
Oh. What's this, now? Something fell into what I think might be a pond. Three somethings. And one of them is a human. Hey! DOROTHY! Yay!! She can actually see! I'm not lost anymore! MARCO! MARCO!
"POLO!!" Checkers shouted back. "I think that's Werren!" "Marco!" Shouted Werren. "POLO!" They all three shouted at the same time. "Help me up!" Destiny called to Dorothy, and she picked Destiny up and set her on top of the wall. "I see him! He's just come out of some sort of cave. I hear a grizzly bear. The grizzly bear is roaring! It's coming out of the cave! Werren is managing to evade its every attack! He just ran into a wall! GET UP, WERREN!! Yes! He did. The grizzly bear...just ran through the wall! Can they even do that?!
Holy carp! Werren can fly!!" "Werren can fly?!" Dorothy and Checkers said at the same time. "I never knew that either! And he's flying this way! Oh! He made a left turn and crashed into the castle. That had to hurt. And now he's coming back here--POLO!--and he's making a right turn! Seriously, since when could he fly, anyway..." Checkers hopped onto the wall next to Destiny. "And why is he getting bigger?" "Duck!" "Where?" Werren said as he crashed into Checkers.
"Oh, dear!" Dorothy cried, climbing out of the pond. "Are you okay?" "I am hurting!" Werren whimpered. "Think you broke anything?" "My brain! Do you have any idea how hard it is to navigate without being able to see anything?" "Werren, since when could you fly?" Destiny cut in. "I can't fly, don't be silly," Werren said, jumping up in the air and staying there. "Erm, you're floating five feet above the ground." "What?" Werren landed with a thud. "Ah, apparently I can fly. Hm. I never knew that." "Yes, and Checkers can run around the world in less than ten seconds." Dorothy said, wringing the water out of her hair. "What can you do, Destiny?" "No idea," Destiny said. "How's your brain, Werren?" Werren tapped the ground with his paw. "Same old, same old. Why do you have a frog on your head?" "Oh!" Destiny cried, and the frog that had been sitting on her head this whole time hopped away. "How did you know that?" "You can use echolocation!" Dorothy said. "That was both random and spontaneous," Destiny said. Werren barked. "Icanseethelight--aw, it's gone."
"You guys need to know my plan," Dorothy said, tapping them each on the head. "What is it?" "You see, once I killed a witch much like that one living there." Dorothy pointed to the castle. "I did it by pouring a bucket of water on her head. I assure you, it was an accident, but apparently, these kinds of witches are deadly allergic to water." "How do they stay hydrated?" Werren asked. "Beats me. Anyway, I think I can do the same thing here and free the Tiddlywinks." "Cool. Where's the Witch, anyway?" Checkers asked. "That's our problem. I don't think anybody even knows what she looks like." "Maybe she's the evil twin sister of Paws!" Destiny guessed. "Possibly. For all we know, she's eight feet tall and breathes lightning."
The End (of the Castle) Part I
"Hey, it just occurred to me." Checkers said. "Didn't the Great Paws say that us Terriers were going to be imprisoned?" "Imprisoned, enslaved, hardly any difference," Dorothy said, still running, which is rather hard to do in a dress. "You guys, how fast can you run?" "Dunno, never needed to," Destiny said. "Very, very, very, very fast," Checkers said quickly. "Alright, then." Dorothy set Checkers down. "Onward!" "Where?" "Follow me, then." Dorothy took off running again, using her apron to carry Destiny in like a basket. Checkers barked and ran off in a little cloud of dust. Dorothy blinked and skidded to a halt. "Where did he go?" "Right here!" Dorothy whirled around. Checkers was standing behind her. "Wow! Did you just run around the world?" "I think so. There was a bit of sand and then a bit of water and a bit of cornfields. I said I could run fast! And now I'm hungry." Checkers looked around and took a bite out of a nearby banister. "A bit dry, but hey, it's edible." "Could you run a bit slower?" "Yes," Checkers said, and followed Dorothy by running like a normal Scottish Terrier should. About five seconds later, they fell through a trapdoor and landed in the labyrinth.
"That went swimmingly!" Checkers sputtered. "Literally!" Destiny said, doggy-paddling to shore. They had managed to land in the part of the labyrinth with the pond in it. Dorothy, however, had caught herself just in time and didn't fall down the trapdoor. She jumped down instead to avoid breaking something.
Oh. What's this, now? Something fell into what I think might be a pond. Three somethings. And one of them is a human. Hey! DOROTHY! Yay!! She can actually see! I'm not lost anymore! MARCO! MARCO!
"POLO!!" Checkers shouted back. "I think that's Werren!" "Marco!" Shouted Werren. "POLO!" They all three shouted at the same time. "Help me up!" Destiny called to Dorothy, and she picked Destiny up and set her on top of the wall. "I see him! He's just come out of some sort of cave. I hear a grizzly bear. The grizzly bear is roaring! It's coming out of the cave! Werren is managing to evade its every attack! He just ran into a wall! GET UP, WERREN!! Yes! He did. The grizzly bear...just ran through the wall! Can they even do that?!
Holy carp! Werren can fly!!" "Werren can fly?!" Dorothy and Checkers said at the same time. "I never knew that either! And he's flying this way! Oh! He made a left turn and crashed into the castle. That had to hurt. And now he's coming back here--POLO!--and he's making a right turn! Seriously, since when could he fly, anyway..." Checkers hopped onto the wall next to Destiny. "And why is he getting bigger?" "Duck!" "Where?" Werren said as he crashed into Checkers.
"Oh, dear!" Dorothy cried, climbing out of the pond. "Are you okay?" "I am hurting!" Werren whimpered. "Think you broke anything?" "My brain! Do you have any idea how hard it is to navigate without being able to see anything?" "Werren, since when could you fly?" Destiny cut in. "I can't fly, don't be silly," Werren said, jumping up in the air and staying there. "Erm, you're floating five feet above the ground." "What?" Werren landed with a thud. "Ah, apparently I can fly. Hm. I never knew that." "Yes, and Checkers can run around the world in less than ten seconds." Dorothy said, wringing the water out of her hair. "What can you do, Destiny?" "No idea," Destiny said. "How's your brain, Werren?" Werren tapped the ground with his paw. "Same old, same old. Why do you have a frog on your head?" "Oh!" Destiny cried, and the frog that had been sitting on her head this whole time hopped away. "How did you know that?" "You can use echolocation!" Dorothy said. "That was both random and spontaneous," Destiny said. Werren barked. "Icanseethelight--aw, it's gone."
"You guys need to know my plan," Dorothy said, tapping them each on the head. "What is it?" "You see, once I killed a witch much like that one living there." Dorothy pointed to the castle. "I did it by pouring a bucket of water on her head. I assure you, it was an accident, but apparently, these kinds of witches are deadly allergic to water." "How do they stay hydrated?" Werren asked. "Beats me. Anyway, I think I can do the same thing here and free the Tiddlywinks." "Cool. Where's the Witch, anyway?" Checkers asked. "That's our problem. I don't think anybody even knows what she looks like." "Maybe she's the evil twin sister of Paws!" Destiny guessed. "Possibly. For all we know, she's eight feet tall and breathes lightning."
The Wizard of Paws chapters 17-18, continued
[Sorry about the ten-day wait for the continuation of the story. Story now resumes.]
The only problem with Werren's plotting was the fact that he couldn't see anything. He bumped into several walls and almost tripped down the stairs.
Hm. This is a wall. Ow! And, it's solid and apparently made out of...brick. So is that wall. And also that wall. Hey, and there's a wall there, too! Why are there--oh, marmalade.
Werren had somehow stumbled into the castle labyrinth.
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Dorothy had been given a roll of shiny sticky stuff that was called "duct tape" and she was using it to fasten all of the forty-two doors to their hinges. So far, she was on door one. The duct tape was getting stuck to her fingers more than anything else. "Hm. You know what?" She said to herself. "I think I have an idea!" And she tossed the duct tape out the nearest window and ran off to find Destiny, Werren, and Checkers.
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Destiny was still scrubbing at the floor. Checkers had fallen asleep. Destiny went over to him and poked him. Checkers snored. Destiny poked him again. Checkers yawned and looked up at her. "Ah," he said. "Is it Friday yet?" "'Fraid not," Destiny said. "But look." Checkers followed her up a ladder. From here, they could see everything going on on the floor. There were a couple of Tiddlywinks roaming about, dusting things. "Oh!" said Checkers, looking at the floor. "Now that is just clever!" What Destiny had done was make a gigantic map of the entire known Land of Paws by scrubbing the pictures onto the floor. "What's the point of it, though?" Destiny Scottish-Terrier shrugged. "Because it's there."
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What's that? It sounds like something is falling out of the sky!
OW!
What was that for?! I think somebody just threw a roll of duct tape at my head! Hey! Somebody just did!
"Karma will get you for this!!" Werren shouted to whoever had thrown the duct tape at him.
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Dorothy had no idea how big the castle was.
It was very big. And there were no maps.
So perhaps it was just pure luck that she ran straight into the room Destiny and Checkers were in. Dorothy looked at them. "Why are you on a ladder?" She asked. "Well, there was a rather lovely drawing on the floor you just got covered in mud," Checkers said, scowling. Dorothy looked at her feet. "Oh. Sorry. Anyway, I have an idea. Follow me, we're finding the Witch of the West!"
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I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm oh so very lost, and there is a pain in my head, and I'm lost...
OW!
And there's a wall right THERE and a wall right there and a
MEEP!
trapdoor there and what sounds like a t-rex there and a sunbeam there and a grizzly bear and hopefully it's in a cage and now there's the light of day I can tell 'cos it's no longer cold and dark-ish.
--------
Dorothy, Checkers, and Destiny ran through the castle to find wherever Werren had gone. The cunning little dog had escaped from the basement. Destiny hopped onto a windowsill. "Hey! A labyrinth!" She shouted to the others. Dorothy picked Checkers up and ran to the windowsill. "Indeed, there is," Dorothy said. "Do you think Werren is there?" One of the Tiddlywinks walked by. "Quick! Act busy!" Destiny whispered, and the three of them quickly pretended to be sweeping. As soon as the guard left, Dorothy grabbed both Scottish Terriers and dashed to where she hoped was the door outside.
The only problem with Werren's plotting was the fact that he couldn't see anything. He bumped into several walls and almost tripped down the stairs.
Hm. This is a wall. Ow! And, it's solid and apparently made out of...brick. So is that wall. And also that wall. Hey, and there's a wall there, too! Why are there--oh, marmalade.
Werren had somehow stumbled into the castle labyrinth.
--------
Dorothy had been given a roll of shiny sticky stuff that was called "duct tape" and she was using it to fasten all of the forty-two doors to their hinges. So far, she was on door one. The duct tape was getting stuck to her fingers more than anything else. "Hm. You know what?" She said to herself. "I think I have an idea!" And she tossed the duct tape out the nearest window and ran off to find Destiny, Werren, and Checkers.
--------
Destiny was still scrubbing at the floor. Checkers had fallen asleep. Destiny went over to him and poked him. Checkers snored. Destiny poked him again. Checkers yawned and looked up at her. "Ah," he said. "Is it Friday yet?" "'Fraid not," Destiny said. "But look." Checkers followed her up a ladder. From here, they could see everything going on on the floor. There were a couple of Tiddlywinks roaming about, dusting things. "Oh!" said Checkers, looking at the floor. "Now that is just clever!" What Destiny had done was make a gigantic map of the entire known Land of Paws by scrubbing the pictures onto the floor. "What's the point of it, though?" Destiny Scottish-Terrier shrugged. "Because it's there."
--------
What's that? It sounds like something is falling out of the sky!
OW!
What was that for?! I think somebody just threw a roll of duct tape at my head! Hey! Somebody just did!
"Karma will get you for this!!" Werren shouted to whoever had thrown the duct tape at him.
--------
Dorothy had no idea how big the castle was.
It was very big. And there were no maps.
So perhaps it was just pure luck that she ran straight into the room Destiny and Checkers were in. Dorothy looked at them. "Why are you on a ladder?" She asked. "Well, there was a rather lovely drawing on the floor you just got covered in mud," Checkers said, scowling. Dorothy looked at her feet. "Oh. Sorry. Anyway, I have an idea. Follow me, we're finding the Witch of the West!"
--------
I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm oh so very lost, and there is a pain in my head, and I'm lost...
OW!
And there's a wall right THERE and a wall right there and a
MEEP!
trapdoor there and what sounds like a t-rex there and a sunbeam there and a grizzly bear and hopefully it's in a cage and now there's the light of day I can tell 'cos it's no longer cold and dark-ish.
--------
Dorothy, Checkers, and Destiny ran through the castle to find wherever Werren had gone. The cunning little dog had escaped from the basement. Destiny hopped onto a windowsill. "Hey! A labyrinth!" She shouted to the others. Dorothy picked Checkers up and ran to the windowsill. "Indeed, there is," Dorothy said. "Do you think Werren is there?" One of the Tiddlywinks walked by. "Quick! Act busy!" Destiny whispered, and the three of them quickly pretended to be sweeping. As soon as the guard left, Dorothy grabbed both Scottish Terriers and dashed to where she hoped was the door outside.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
The Wizard of Paws chapters 17-18
Chapter 17
Diary of a Minion
Dear Diary,
Don't ask how or even why, butThe Wi Master somehow captured a human girl and three dogs. The girl has been put to work doing things that only opposable thumbs may accomplish, the dogs have been put to work like the rest of us. There's a silver one, a black one, and one with an odd pattern in his fur resembling a chessboard. He insists that it is a checkerboard. Master is convinced that it is a backgammon board and so we leave it at that.
I have to leave now because the floors need to be scrubbed.
-Coo-coo-ka-choo
Chapter 18
Plotting
"This is pathetic!" Checkers moaned. He had been harnessed to a wagon and was pulling things around the castle of the Witch of the West. "I am a respectable Scottish Terrier of Terrier Town, and I will not subject to this!" "Shush!" Destiny barked. She was scrubbing the floors of the castle using a little system involving the dogs strapping scrub brushes to their paws. "I'm trying to concentrate!" "I wonder where Werren is," Checkers said, gazing out the window. "Last I heard of him, he said something about be back in a fortnight," Destiny said, carefully rubbing at certain spots on the floor with the brushes and skipping other ones entirely. "That doesn't seem very efficient." Checkers nodded at the floor. "You'll see, you'll all see," Destiny muttered, scrubbing away.
As for Dorothy, she was in the hall outside of the Witch's room, pacing back and forth and contemplating how, exactly, she was to go about freeing all of the original subjects of the West who called themselves Tiddlywinks, freeing herself, the other slaves, and her friends, getting back into the Emerald City in one piece, and fixing all of the broken doors in the castle. The Witch informed her there were about forty-two. Come to think of it, Dorothy had never even seen the Witch.
Werren was in the basement, herding all of the rats into a corner so he could get on with dusting. To dust, the dogs had to throw a rag like a boomerang at spiderwebs and they had to wear socks on their paws.
Werren got sick of this after about fifteen minutes and the third time the rag had gone careening off into the bushes outside the open window. Using his teeth, he tore the socks off and ran upstairs. He could easily blend into the shadows and remained generally unseen.
{AHEM. Most horribly sorry, but it is 11:00 PM, and I am tired, and this chapter is getting longer than anticipated. So, I have to leave you all in a cliffhanger.
-The Chanagement}
Diary of a Minion
Dear Diary,
Don't ask how or even why, but
I have to leave now because the floors need to be scrubbed.
-Coo-coo-ka-choo
Chapter 18
Plotting
"This is pathetic!" Checkers moaned. He had been harnessed to a wagon and was pulling things around the castle of the Witch of the West. "I am a respectable Scottish Terrier of Terrier Town, and I will not subject to this!" "Shush!" Destiny barked. She was scrubbing the floors of the castle using a little system involving the dogs strapping scrub brushes to their paws. "I'm trying to concentrate!" "I wonder where Werren is," Checkers said, gazing out the window. "Last I heard of him, he said something about be back in a fortnight," Destiny said, carefully rubbing at certain spots on the floor with the brushes and skipping other ones entirely. "That doesn't seem very efficient." Checkers nodded at the floor. "You'll see, you'll all see," Destiny muttered, scrubbing away.
As for Dorothy, she was in the hall outside of the Witch's room, pacing back and forth and contemplating how, exactly, she was to go about freeing all of the original subjects of the West who called themselves Tiddlywinks, freeing herself, the other slaves, and her friends, getting back into the Emerald City in one piece, and fixing all of the broken doors in the castle. The Witch informed her there were about forty-two. Come to think of it, Dorothy had never even seen the Witch.
Werren was in the basement, herding all of the rats into a corner so he could get on with dusting. To dust, the dogs had to throw a rag like a boomerang at spiderwebs and they had to wear socks on their paws.
Werren got sick of this after about fifteen minutes and the third time the rag had gone careening off into the bushes outside the open window. Using his teeth, he tore the socks off and ran upstairs. He could easily blend into the shadows and remained generally unseen.
{AHEM. Most horribly sorry, but it is 11:00 PM, and I am tired, and this chapter is getting longer than anticipated. So, I have to leave you all in a cliffhanger.
-The Chanagement}
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